I generally am a person who operates within the confines of what is considered to be politically correct. I wrote the following to break out of those boundaries as you can never soar when trapped in any cage. To me the banishment of certain words has gone to far and as a writer I find if you tell me I can not use a particular word it will be all I think about using in everything I write. Consider this my disclaimer that you may be offended by my choice of a particular word or two but my wingspan is a little wider for doing so. Maybe you should give it a try.
I dont know that I am a really smart person sometimes I think I am one of those people who borders between normal and almost retarded and no one will tell me. You know we all kinda have friends like that. There is that friend who always comes up with the idea to stop a ceiling fan with his head. He and or she is the person who looks at a situation they feel like they have been in before and says very seriously; "De Vu Ja" . It is also this same friend who in a serious conversation about transgendered people and that lifestyle says they once dated a "mork-a-diffe".
Here is the problem with these friends. We dont laugh....out loud anyway or until they are gone. And they go on through their lives feeling like they are okay, like they are not close to being retarded. But we know they fall between the cracks. They are in that happy place of not really having to be responsible for what they say and drooling in public.
So I wonder who the more honest of the crew is? The guy who leaves my house on a saturday night with a scooby doo bandaid on his forehead and we all look at each other and say "hmmm, now someone remind me again why he isnt married" and someone invariably makes some smartass Lenny from Of Mice and Men reference. But we never tell him "Hey Lenny, you cant squeeze the girl like that or she might not really want to stick her finger in the outlet. We sit , we lie, we smile and we suck up the bull and then most of us turn it around as comedy to save our freakin sanity. But I digress. So is my Lenny friend more honest because he comes out and says "I want to touch the girls hair even if she is a morkadiffe "or are we more honest because we allow it to continue, to thrive, to perpetuate the theory of "if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all". Which is right? Where do I fall? Where do you fall?
I am afraid that I fall between the cracks, just like my Lenny friends but on a different scale. And isnt there a scale for everything these days from Richter to Kinsey. Why is it that we need to measure everything in our lives. Do you love me? How much? Show me on a scale. How is your pain on a scale of 1 to 10? I really truly hate that question. They always say 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Well I had a baby come through me with no pain meds and that was about a twenty five on the scale of 1 to 10 so no my back doesnt hurt like I am having contractions every minute after 19 hours of labor, about to pass a VW bug and making murder threats while attempting to break a hand by twisting it in different directions...so no your scale on pain doesnt apply to me....what do i always say....ehh somewhere around a 6....how stupid.
So this much I know is true. We are liars. We all fall between the cracks of normal and retarded. Sometimes its just some of us have moved in a tv and found the cable hookup..however not the power outlet. So we sit staring into the abyss of our own ignorance and no one will tell us we are there. The phrase "if you cant say something nice .." was created by people who want to continue to be entertained by your bull and mine. If we are not honest with each other we dont stand a chance at real happiness.
Now, this is me being honest and right now im pretty happy but maybe you are putting that scooby doo bandaid on my head and sending me out the door saying....Ya know, one of these days we have to sit her down and have a talk with her about some of the retarded crap she does. And the beat goes on .. .. ..
